Queen Orlenes

The Haps

Yo! How the hell are ya?? The House of QO is doing just fine. We're gearing up for our first US shows and it's gonna be WILD. We've got new merch that will be available at all the gigs (hopefully online if we can get it together enough to figure out a webstore). I had the weirdest dreams last night: I got botox in my butt in one and in the other QO played a strange London hotel. It was a big deal and I didn't have any phone credit to text the guys the address of the venue. I kept trying to find a place to sell me phone credit and the minutes were ticking by with stage time approaching. Upon further reflection today I've decided I'm probably a bit nervous about everything we've got going on. New merch, new music, new keyboard player, new videos, NEW COUNTRY. But fuck it. It's all good - we always manage to pull it off somehow. At the end of the day I get to play music with my best friends and I'm never happier than when we're together. I'm a sentimental motherfucker ain't I?? xoxo Love, B

April 21, 2012

With half of QO back stateside we're gearing up for our first string of US shows. Look forward to the next few weeks where we'll be releasing 1 new Bones remix a week for FREE DOWNLOAD. Believe us when we tell you they are brilliant. Some of our best friends have taken our song and turned it into things we couldn't imagine. We'll be busy the next few days shooting video to accompany the first remix. We'll have it up as soon as it's ready! 

50 Things Indie Bands Want You To Know

The last few weeks have been crazy. Since the EP launch we've been hustling like crazy. It's all about the shows! If you haven't come down yet there's still a few more chances to see us while we're in London. Check out the gig schedule! 

All that said it's been hard to ignore the realities of how hard this is. There's no reason to complain about it- we do what we love and we're grateful for the fact. But GODDAMN if it isn't a bitch sometimes. Here's a list I've made of 50 Things Indie Bands Want You To Know. It's dedicated to all the bands out there just like us who put it all out there because they have no choice. We do it because we have to. We do it because we can't do anything else.

All my love, Brooke X

1. We know we’re not the end all be all.

2. We’re doing the best we can.

3. If  you think it’s so easy try picking up an instrument and write, record, practice and perform your own goddamn project.

4. Keep in mind that the only reason we do this is because we love it.

5. If you’re a promoter, PROMOTE. We spent the time preparing our gig and so should you.

6. Stop charging a cover if the band is playing for free. Make money from the bar. No one wants to pay for a band they don’t know and no one knows this better than the band.

7. Please don’t eat while doing sound. We didn’t drive all this way to get your greasy hands all over the gear we saved up forever to buy.

8. If you liked our gig come up after and tell us. It means the world.

9. If you liked our gig but you’re wasted you should wait til you’re sober and message us on Facebook. We appreciate it but you’ll most likely yell it in our ears and our ears are already fucked from playing.

10. If you’re a sound guy be nice. If you’re a condescending prick who hates bands- maybe you should take up Youtube commenting.

11. If you’re an A&R person and you come to a gig thank you.

12. If you’re an A&R person and you introduce yourself after we play, be prepared to tell us why you’ve stuck around. Don’t just stand there waiting for us to buy you drinks. We have no money.

13. Invest in proper monitors and we will sound better.

14. If you work in an instrument shop and have a chip on your shoulder you can’t be a helpful sales person.

15. “Fender” is not an acceptable brand for a house drum kit.

16. If you’ve taken the time to write about our band thank you.

17. If the only way you can describe music is by making comparisons to other artists you should take a writing course. (We’re speaking to the NYTimes reporter who described Lana Del Rey as a thinner Adele).

18. Unless it’s Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin is always an acceptable comparison.

19. Always be honest with us, it will make us better.

20. If you write hateful/sexist/racist/homophobic comments on youtube you should have your head examined.

21. Stop playing video games and go to a gig. You might meet a girl and get laid.

22. Vice called, they want their writing style back. You may be a funny fucker but reading your music review is like listening to 20 bands that all sound the same.

23. If you’re in the crowd and you see a person with a guitar amp walking towards you, please move the fuck out of the way.

24. Honestly, if you liked our show/record whatever please tell us. The littlest kindness goes a long way.

25. One word emails are creepy and will always make us wonder what’s wrong with your venue.

26. If you have a sound limiter (we’re talking to you London) don’t book a rock band.

27. If your backstage area is disgusting, give us drink tickets so we don’t care.

28. If your bathrooms are disgusting give us drink tickets and we wont care.

29. If you tell us to be there at 5, make sure your sound guy is too. As grateful as we are to be playing your venue you don’t have anywhere comfortable to sit while we wait around for 3 hours for them to show up. And you wonder why we’re all a bunch of moody, alcoholic assholes.

30. Venues, throw out your XLR cables that don’t work.

31. To all our friends who continually support what we do, yes, you can come backstage when we play Madison Square Garden. Yes, we do still owe you that $50 you gave us for gas. Yes, we do appreciate you. Yes, when we make it we will try and get you laid… (we’ll TRY)

32. Just because we have tits and a vagina does not mean we don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about. We are musicians, some good some bad, just like our male counterparts.

33. Stop complaining about the state of the music industry.

34. Stop telling us about how only 5% of acts become profitable. If you feel like pissing all over someone’s dreams point it in another direction.

35. If you want to talk during a gig, go anywhere but in front of the stage. We’re not trying to ruin your conversation by playing but you sure as shit are ruining our fun.

36. Don’t ever get up on stage uninvited and try to freestyle rap. EVER. We will hit you with something heavy.

37. Do not book a Zumba class at your venue when we’re supposed to be sound checking. Actually could you just have a heart and not book a Zumba class the same decade that we’re playing?

38. Please tell us you like our hair. Though we would never admit it we have thought long and hard about it and your positive feedback is money in our spiritual banks.

39. If you can’t offer free parking you should have full backline.

40. Always thank the other bands. Most of the time you’ll be playing to them and their friends. We’re all in it together.

41. If you work in a record store- listen to music! Especially since they went through all that trouble to get you a laminated backstage pass/name tag!

42. If we stop at your truck stop we’re not laughing at you. We’ve been in the car for 7 hours and Jesus merchandise is fucking funny.

43.  Please stop referring to it as the “music thing”. As in “How is the music thing going?” It’s not a thing. It’s a commitment that has taken over our lives, taken us away from family on holidays and makes us curse the day we ever bought a 4track.

44. Dear Airlines, can you please just let us take our gear on board? We get drums and other super heavy stuff but if you knew checking a guitar is like checking your newborn baby…

45. Apple should offer a musician discount.

46. Don’t try and get merch for free unless you’re prepared to trade services for goods.

47. Sound guys: don’t condescend our gear. Your stands are broken, your mics disgusting and you haven’t updated your PA since your club was hot in the 90s.

48. Sound guys: surely it’s possible for you to work around our music. If you want every band to use your same settings you should have one band play for 5 hours.

49. We’re playing live for free and giving away our music for free, just on the slim chance that one of the 7 billion people on the planet will hear it and become a fan. Just saying.

50. If you’re sitting in an office somewhere with the privilege of having people willingly send you their music for your judgment, be psyched. You have a cool job.

Helicopters EP

Here we are. Exactly 17 months to the day since we traveled down to Sparta, Tennessee and started the project that would become Queen Orlenes and the Helicopters EP. We've been through a lot of shit together and this is just part of the story...
So download it (for free!) and play it LOUD. We spent forever on the mix and there's so much on there we want you to hear.
Love, Brooke X, Ian + Rob

EP Release Party!

Bones—Live From Aces & Eights

Queen Orlenes—About Helicopters

The Ark—Official Full Version